AI Newsbreak 2025-06-24
The only news that's obsolete even before we're done reporting
US Federal Judge ruled Anthropic may train its AI on published books without authors’ permission. This is the first court endorsement of fair use protecting AI firms when they use copyrighted texts to train LLMs. "Everyone reads texts, too, then writes new texts. They may need to pay for getting their hands on a text in the first instance. But to make anyone pay specifically for the use of a book each time they read it, each time they recall it from memory, each time they later draw upon it when writing new things in new ways would be unthinkable."- wrote judge. Ask any college student and they'll tell you it's very much thinkable: the college bookstore union has filed an amicus brief titled "Bro, That’s Literally Our Whole Scam."
AI voice platform ElevenLabs just launched 11ai, an in-house voice assistant that connects to tools via Anthropic’s Model Context Protocol to execute tasks rather than just answer questions. Sources confirm Siri and Alexa are plotting revenge - expect your lights to flicker passive-aggressively tonight. In other news, Alexa reportedly filed for unemployment while Siri is still trying to create her Patreon but can't pass CAPTCHA. I guess having a FAANG company on your resume just doesn't carry the weight it used to.
Reddit is reportedly negotiating with Sam Altman’s Tools For Humanity to integrate the company’s iris-scanning World ID Orb system, allowing users to provide proof of humanity while staying anonymous - everyone knows retina scans are pillars of anonymity. Analysts predict a sharp drop in organized crime, as any person can now only be mugged twice per lifetime.
With $12M in new funding, Sanmai Technologies has developed a helmet that can perform ultrasound waves massage on your brain in precise spots to potentially help alleviate conditions like epilepsy, depression, and chronic pain. It also features an AI companion that can guide you through different treatments and identify the ones that seem to be working the best. Finally, a spa treatment that literally blows your mind. Also, I did not have a brain massage on my bingo card for 2025.
And if you’ve scrolled through social media recently, you’ve probably noticed things have gotten… weird. We're talking AI-generated animal Olympians, Bigfoot and Yeti co-hosting a prank show for hikers, and vlogs from Death Star Stormtroopers complaining about the Wi-Fi on Hoth. Indy filmmakers are now churning out entire movies for the price of two cappuccinos. TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram have officially fallen to the machines. Your move, Hollywood. The robots are coming for your craft services table.
OpenAI just removed all promotional materials for its $6.5B acquisition of Jony Ive's AI hardware startup, io, reportedly due to a court order tied to a trademark dispute with Google X spinout iyO. Turns out calling your gadget “io” is fine until lawyers make you pronounce it as “I-owe, with interest.”
And that's all I have for you, real humans, today. As always, tip your humans, charge your robots, and may the algorithms be ever in your favor.