AI Newsbreak 2025-06-18
AI News, the only news that’s obsolete even before we’re done reporting it
Our first story today is about Firefox testing Perplexity as its search engine in a special release channel called 'Dazed and Confused," because modern audiences need that 90-s feel of time floating away while you're loading whole Yahoo catalog on a dial-up. Now, any time your 6-year old will try ordering pizza from your laptop, it'll get a 15-minute TED talk about the whole pineapples on pizza controversy and its influence on contemporary culture with subtle pitch for Papa John's.
Next, Amazon just officially unveiled a new "strategy for AI workforce optimization," which basically means they have no idea what anyone's going to do once AI takes over. Their quote: 'Some jobs will no longer need doing, some new stuff will need to be done, but we have no idea what's going to happen.' Sounds like they're just waiting for GPT-5 to tell them what to do. So, get ready for unlimited, unrestricted, and unpaid PTO... with same-day delivery.
Over in China, a top live streamer created two AI clones of himself for a six-hour non-stop stream. These AI twins raked in $7 million in merchandise, proving that to truly succeed, you don't just need to remove your human personality, you need to remove the actual human. Less drama, more dollars, no commission split!
Sam Altman appeared on a podcast last night seemingly upset with Mark Zuckerberg who's dangling $100K sign up bonuses in attempts to poach OpenAI talent. Speaking on the topic, he mentioned that OpenAI innovates better, it's got cooler vibes, and that none of OpenAI people has taken Mark Z up on his offer. Sam's recommendation? "Gotta pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers!" Mark, take note.
Speaking of OpenAI innovations, WhatsApp now lets you DM the 1-800-ChatGPT number for instant images. That's right, now you can finally have those cat memes on speed dial. And no, you can't ask me for those images. That would be 1-900-ChatGPT, a totally different kind of premium service!
Teachers are reporting that kids are now speaking in AI catchphrases. You know, like, "It's not cheating, it's collaborative research." So now, when your teenager tells you "I don't want broccoli," they immediately follow it with, "Would you like a PowerPoint presentation or a vibrant infographic detailing my nutritional preferences?" They're not wrong, they're just... optimizing their arguments.
That's a wrap for today, folks. As always, talk to your vitamins, take your AI seriously, and prioritize automating HR tasks first so that they'll be on free vacation when AI comes for you!