AI Newsbreak 2025-06-12

Jun 12, 2025

Lawyers in Heat dept. Biggest news of the day - in a rare crossover event, Hollywood studios, such as Disney, Universal, Marvel and others, teamed up - not to fight Thanos or some other big bad evil monster, but to sue Midjourney. Hollywood lawyers allege the image generator is a “massive engine of copyright theft.” Apparently, Mickey Mouse driving a Batmobile through Hogwarts was a bit too realistic for their liking. Analysts say it’s the first time Mickey Mouse, Minions, and Iron Man have appeared together without a $500-million budget and a happy ending.

Let's Throw AI Spaghetti at the Wall and See What Sticks dept. Meta has released its Meta AI app, which has Instagram vibes but focused on you interacting with AI. Beating the competition, Meta included a Discovery tab, allowing you to see other people's creations. Now, whenever you get bored with overly filtered Instagram influencers, you can hop onto Meta AI to watch people create kale salad robots drowning in Ranch dressing, begging for blueberry pie recipes, read their medical histories and asking how to cheer their gangster boyfriend. Meta claims the app is a revolutionary way to connect with artificial intelligence. So far, it's mostly a revolutionary way to find out your neighbor thinks his rash is a government conspiracy and is telling an AI all about it.

You Just Don't Get It dept. Apple execs told the Wall Street Journal they refused to ship a half-baked Siri AI, citing “quality standards.” Apparently, the current Siri, which answers "What's the weather?" by saying "The weather is a sky's mood for today." However, they have still assured that Apple AI is still coming. While specific time frames haven't been mentioned (unfortunately, Apple isn't always as transparent as their Liquid Glass), early leaks report that it will ship in at least six magnificent translucent colors, will require a $299 stand and $59/month subscription, and will not include a charging cable.

Surrender Fries In The Cloud dept. Over in Europe, Mistral has unveiled "Mistral Compute," a new all-in-one AI stack that rents you GPUs. Picture AWS, but every menu option is in French and it comes with a cigarette, and a light existential crisis. Great news: every researcher in Europe now can train a model which will now come with complimentary existential dread about the future of humanity, served with a delightful baguette. It's a bold strategy, Cotton, let's see if it works for them.

Hearsay And Other Trustworthy News dept. Someone claiming to be OpenAI senior software engineer says OpenAI already has self-recursive AI called ALICE for Adaptive Learning Intelligence Companion Engine - which isn't a model but a scaffolding allowing models to do recursive self improvements. According to the same source, it's too scary to let loose because "models are not aligned to humans well." You know, when you ask this AI genius what's the best way to deal with the next epidemic and what you get is "it suggested locking humans in pods if a worldwide pandemic that couldn't be solved at that time and then drugging us, and then simulating a VR world so when we woke up wouldn't know what is real or fake" you know they're probably right.

Anyway, that's all I've got for you real humans today. Thank you for reading and as always - let me know if you have any feedback.